Photo Credit: www.sxc.hu

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

We all have intention to improve what we encounter. We yearned for everything to be more beautiful, systematized, slicker, faster, and just better. We want peace, order and plain effectiveness in everything in the range of our senses.

We want the best and nothing but the best. Mediocrity are destined to be inside the trash can and be judged.

When we first entered a room, our mind will instantaneously formulate a list. What needs to be present? What needs to be absent? What’s the best hue? What’s the best proximity?


The TV must be slimmer, buy a flat screen LED.
Sofas are for cleaning. Why they can’t see that they are dirty?
The curtains are pain in the eyes. Choose lighter colors for them, will you?
A larger table. It must be positioned in the center not on the right.
Who designed this room anyway?
We’re naturally disapproving of things we don’t like. We have our own tastes and embraced morals and anything that is contrary or not in harmony with them are worthy of criticism, at least in our mind.

The ‘list’ are not just popping out when we see things, the ‘list’ are way easier to cook when we see it on other people. And we’re all expert on this.


  • Can’t he think before he speak those trashy words?
  • Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn. Does she needs to update all of her status in all of those before doing any work? What a nice job!
  • That selfie again? Is she that cute? My cat is way more cuter.
  • What’s the matter with him? He doesn’t look like a chicken but he act like one, coward!
  • Does Candy Crush feeds his family? He’s pathetic.
  • Does she even look at the mirror this morning? Duh!
  • He’s too biblical, churchy and archaic. I think he met the dinosaurs.
  • Why can’t she think about her insensitivity? I’ll be willing to wrap her mouth in tape.
  • He’s too unemotional. Does he think he's Edward Cullen?


The list we’re formulating are often true and need to be considered by the person. If they would receive them with no resistance, it will improve their life, no doubt about that. They need to hear them and we’re doing it faithfully! But the effect on them are often opposite of what we expect. They become defensive and sulky.

Why is that? We really know the answer, we just deliberately ignore it.

Often, we are aching to change others and hand them their ‘list’. But as we’re giving the list, your flaws are also listed in their mind. And guess what?

“What?! You’re handing me ‘my list’! You’re thinking that I lack self-evaluation, that I’m not aware?! So now, with your ‘generous heart’, you’re helping me? Does appreciation even need to cross my mind? Come on brother, you’re just the same and I believe your worse than me, your lack of self-evaluation are making you disgusting. You are no better than me. Idiot!”

We want to change the world, but rarely want to change ourselves. We believe that if everyone would just listen to your awe-inspiring wisdom, all things will be set in order. You’re that smart, but it’s a delusion.

We can’t control others no matter what. People don’t change because of coercion, they change because of influence. And how do we influence them? By being integral in ourselves, by having the courage to evaluate ourselves, to be bold enough to face our own ‘list’ and have the humility to say that we ourselves needs changing and improvement.

We don’t need to be hypocrites anymore. It's time face the bad notes in our music, the rough edges in our sculpture, and the bad strokes in our painting. Let’s face our own list.

And when others saw that you’re facing your own list and overcoming them every day, then maybe they will be encouraged to resolve their own. Everyone wants to be a better person, to be a healthy part of the society, and reflect better light. We need to exemplify the power of taking action on the most powerful list in the world, our own list.

What’s your list? What can you do about them now?

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