Photo Credit: intrepid95,

People like to group themselves, develop ideals and inaudibly proclaim them to be the norms, the accepted practices, the laws that everybody must adhere to be accepted.

Men today are judged on different lenses from men from previous generation. The influences of media and culture (that often says that they’re good but really have a different agenda in mind) distorted men who are supposed to be mature men of principles into little men of conformity. If we’re not aware, we would be spiraling to the creepy ideals of the ‘modern men’. Here are some samples:

  • The more girlfriends, the happier it gets baby!
  • Practice, practice, practice. Master the techniques in bed before marriage so you would be Olympian in your honeymoon.
  • He who dies with the most toys wins. 
  • Just get a high paying job no matter what the morals of the company. Don’t care about silly mission or service, they’re only for the religious and emotional babies.
  • Dismiss every serious stuff with jokes and laughter.
  • Better be cool than good.
  • You’re not a real man if you never tried smoking like you’re being in Hades, drinking until your second personality shows up, and ascending to heaven through drugs.
  • You must master all the curses, traditional and creative, before you get to the age of 21.
Have you ever experienced being the man in the room who’s not doing the stuff above? Men intoxicated with those ‘funs’ would harassed every ‘heretics’ in the room. “What is in your head? Are you a monk or something? C’mon, grow up! Be a man!”

Want a dozen (times two times two times two) regrets at the end? Follow them.

Want a saner life? Here are some suggestions:

It’s not how many ‘experiences’ you have but how brave you are to wait for your marriage day.

Yeah, I believe it’s actually a mark of bravery to faithfully wait until your marriage to have that most intimate encounter with your wife. It’s not a mark of timidity but a sign of genuine self-control. Men have those slamming sexual hormones that can consume their mind whenever they’re aroused, so if you can subdue it, you’re a mature, unlike little men who are slaves to their lust. Being a virgin until your marriage is not a shame, giving up your virginity without the blessing of marriage is lame.

It’s not how many (flirty) chicks you got but how faithful you are to your only one.

Be honest. Do you think that more girlfriends would make you happier? Does multitasking in love makes you more complete? No! Having a lot of girlfriends at the same time is not a sign that you have a Hollywood-grade beauty, it just means that you’re a cheater and afraid to be committed to one girl. A one stream of loving headache is enough for every man. 

It’s not how many toys you have but how many lives you touch.

He who dies with the most toys wins, right? Hogwash. He who dies with the most toys is dead. Winning doesn’t means having it all, it means being filled with joy because of giving - giving your time, giving your talents, giving your love. Great men are not great accumulator, great men are great contributors.

It’s not how high you stand in times of success but how willing you are to stand up again in times of failure.

Everybody can give their Oscar winning smile in the stage of success and attention. But when you’re in the dim of ridicules and disappointments, would you still believe in yourself and stand up high again? The ability to conquer challenges is hundred times more valuable than the common propensity of smiling when getting an award.

It’s not saying you’re always right but more on doing what is right.

You don’t need to proclaim you’re right in order to be right, you just need to do the right thing. You don’t need permission to do the right thing, just do it! Always leave the mark of integrity in everything you do, you would never regret it no matter how hard it is.

It’s not how great you are in the spotlight but also how true you are in the dark.

It’s easy to put your best acts when eyes are watching. You can do it in school, in the office, or in the church. But you’d always be a hypocrite if you’re not also doing your holy acts in the dark. If you saw a beggar and nobody is around except you and the beggar, would you still give the bread of love? Or would you still snap a picture of you while giving and post it on Facebook? What a nice <holy>act</holy>. Please read the teachings of Jesus on this.

It’s not how many people you defeated but how many people you committed to love.

Being the champion is fun but it’s not always fulfilling. Being a loving companion is sometimes hard but it’s always rewarding. We can use our strengths to dominate but it seldom lead to happiness. But if we use our strengths to help, it would always lead to something beautiful, something we’re all craving for – loving relationships.

Doing these unconventional acts would make you abnormal in the eyes of ‘normal’ men. It’s okay. Better be ridiculed for being brave in adhering to true north principles than to be patted on the back for being stupid in following crackbrained ideals.

Be a man of principles, not a man of conformity. It is stupidity not to use your own head and guts to decide and do what is right.

Have the marks of the real men, not the tattoos of the little ones.

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